#TweetHeeHee (09/09/2019)

When I was 9 I wanted a pair of platform trainers like the Spice Girls had, so my sister made me a pair by glueing a pack of B&Q cork flooring tiles onto the bottom of my shoes, before wrapping them up in red electrical tape. Wearing them in public made me who I am today.

— Laura (@fairycakes) September 8, 2019

The memory of staggering through Picaddily Circus station gripping onto my friend’s mum’s hand for balance, as one by one, adults getting off the escalator pointed and laughed at me is what taught me strength, courage and humility

— Laura (@fairycakes) September 8, 2019

I was at the NHS walk in centre earlier and the doctor has given me some anti-gloating cream. Now all I want to do is rub it in.

— Russty Russ (@russty_russ) September 8, 2019

bit of a problem with our Americana delivery.

we asked for 13 copies but they gave us 31 https://t.co/SwsbSGqoax pic.twitter.com/K9aLOWlLga

— Banquet Records (@BanquetRecords) September 4, 2019

This. Not only proof of evolution, but proof animals are better than us.

Wait for it.

pic.twitter.com/GiD7AwEIPl

— Danny Deraney (@DannyDeraney) September 2, 2019

The largest organ in the human body is the Bontempi GT509 I just swallowed.

— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) September 9, 2019

Me telling a story:
Beginning, middle, end.

My girlfiend telling a story:
Beginning, middle, two spin-offs, a prequel, another completely different franchise, barely an ending. Quick Q&A.

— Jake Lambert (@LittleLostLad) May 13, 2018