#AwesomeBoresome (Week ending 31/05/2015)

It’s nearly June. Can you believe that? Just time for me, however, to squeeze in my weekly round up of all the things I’ve been rating and slating in the week just gone – so here, for your reading pleasure viewers, it’s this week’s #AwesomeBoresome…

• #AWESOME – Aston Merrygold being Back! Back! Back! and single handedly saving pop music

With Oritsé and Marvin (with his dance production outfit LuvBug) both having broken into the charts with their solo careers in the last year, this week we finally heard the first fruits of labour from the former member of JLS that everyone – certainly their younger fans anyway – had been waiting for. Aston Merrygold has finally re-emerged from an 18 month break and is now no longer ‘the cute backflipping one’ and is now, instead, ‘the one most likely to be the biggest male solo popstar in the UK since Olly Murs’.

And on the basis of ‘Get Stupid’, his – pardon our French – f***ing brilliant debut solo single, he’s argued an extremely strong case for that to happen. Co-written with ex-Alishia’s Attic star Karen Poole (Kylie, Will Young, Sugababes) and Sonny J Mason (the criminally underrated ‘Can’t Stop Moving’ from the X Factor Talk Talk adverts), it’s a mischief making, funk laden and soulful slice of summery pop bubbling with energy that we think will be on course to bring forth the first solo number one of the former deep V-neck advocates.

‘Get Stupid’ is released on 17th July and Aston’s debut album ‘Show Stopper’ follows in October.

• #AWESOME – Magnum’s luscious new dark side

With summer just around the corner, the king of all ice creams Magnum has now launched it’s new ‘Pink vs Black’ range for this year following the (truly awesome) silver Marc de Campagne range they had to celebrate it’s 25th birthday last year.

We always thought that was going to be a tough act to follow, and whilst this was indeed proved right with the pink raspberry ripple flavour being too sickly sweet, we tried the dark one this week – Espresso flavour – and can confirm it is absolute heaven on a lolly stick.

• #BORESOME – Coffee shop etiquette, or lack thereof

Right, bit of an odd one this but hear me out. As a (often) solo punter in a coffee shop, is it just me that feels immensely annoyed having to contend with the snotty behaviour of groups of people with regards to seating arrangements? I feel solo punters are unfairly looked upon despite the fact that we are paying customers just the same as everyone else for choosing to sit where we like.

Such was the case when I had coffee out in Costa in Braintree a few weekends ago, and upon deciding to sit on the sofa area, was promptly given looks of disdain by a Cath Kidston clad so-called ‘middle class’ family for electing to sit there, and who then kept turning to their child passive aggressively going ‘Let’s let that man leave his seat first, Jacinta’. Yeah, too right you’re waiting you impatient git jobs.

• #BORESOME – ‘Love Island’, the unnecessary return of

Easily the most baffling return to ITV’s schedules this summer has been that of ‘Love Island’. Formerly known by its ‘celebrity’ (read: Abi Titmuss and Calum Best starring) counterpart from 10 years ago, its now been resurrected for ITV2 and starts next month.

Even with our beloved Flackers, Ms Caroline Flack hosting, and with supposed ‘normal’ people starring this time, you can almost bet it will be full of the sort of people who are just on it to be famous for absolutely sod all apart from a quick bonk on a paradise resort. Enough.